Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Resistance is futile, you will be assimilated

My 'good' side...last night

***Semi Explicit photo Ratings Warning ***

Chemo port is in place- comparatively speaking it was pretty much a cake walk as far as procedures go. I think it was even nicer than the MUGA, because I made sure I was well dosed with valium and xanax before I showed up this am.  It stings a bit, like an IV in my arm. Hubby pointed out it may hurt because they CUT INTO ME. oh yeah, I guess that would be a good reason.   I am starting to feel a bit more machine than person.  I realize that there are people out there with way more bionic parts than me, but it's very strange how in such a short time I've had parts taken out of me, off me, inserted into me,etc.
I just pulled all the adhesive off so it looks
a little gruesome.

In homage to Michael Pollen's book "In Defense of Food" which, by the way I HIGHLY recommend)  here's an iPhone photo of my "processed boob-like product".  

This is 3 weeks post mastectomy. The big picture: I think the current size is pretty close to what I want in the end.  The lumpiness of the left boob is because of the tissue expander and some residual swelling from the actual surgery


My Question:  It is technically still considered a boob?  There isn't really any boob left at this point, all the inside parts that made it a mammary gland have been removed, so too, the icing on the cake a/k/a the nipple....so other than the location of the bump and the general shape, it's really just extra abdominal skin pulled over a plastic balloon filled with saline.  In the grand scheme of things, will this matter in the end?  I doubt it.  As a friend of mine once said about fake vs. real boobs...."I like real maple syrup, it's yummy.  But... that fake stuff is still pretty good, too.

I'm sharing this photo in the interest of science and to support others getting ready to go through a similar ordeal realize that they won't look like a TOTAL freak afterwards, regardless of how you feel.

   I know that I was pleasantly surprised at how good my boob looked even immediately after my mastectomy.  I have seen old pictures of mastectomies prior to reconstruction and prior to all the tons of work that has been done with breast cancer patients, and they always made me think of some horrible, gruesome surgeries where it looks like the boobs have literally been chopped off with no regard to the body or brain that is left behind to deal with the aftermath - an outdated, purely scientific/medical approach to dealing with a deadly disease...would you rather be dead or boobless?  

I know that I'm extremely fortunate to have invasive ductal carcinoma at this point in history, because of all the research that has gone before to understand what happens to the person after they go through an ordeal like this.  Especially in a society where boobs reign supreme. 

Ok, this could get ugly if I continue down this road....wading into murky waters now, so I'll end it here on a positive note.  My new PINK ARROW FORCE 4 girly tee that I picked up for the big game on Sept 9.  

This year I got it customized, too. 

1 comment:

  1. Beautiful. Thank you for sharing your journey with us.


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