Saturday, September 3, 2011

"This is our lives on holiday." ~Green Day

My son has been listening to about 5 songs non-stop over the past few weeks on my iPod while playing video or computer games- Breaking Benjamin and Green I pretty much have all the lyrics memorized by now.

However, I thought it was a fitting title for my post today.  I have met some truly wonderful people on the website  This is a support site for cancer fighters, survivors and supporters.  Through it I have met people from all over the world that have been there for me throughout this journey.  People whose lives have been touched by cancer in some way, and want to be a part of a bigger picture to reach out to others who share a similar story.  People I can rant to in the middle of the night when I am feeling angry, sad, or whatever. Who tell me to hang in there, keep fighting, things will get better.

My girl K, from ME, is one of those people.  She is going through similar treatment for her cancer as I am for mine.  We had similar surgeries - she is my cheerleader for this damn roboboob of mine when I feel like I can't stand another second with it inside my body.  She is going through chemo now, the same two drugs, but on a faster schedule, AND she is working through it all.

I, on the other hand, am not. Working.  My life at work was so stressful prior to finding out I had cancer, I can't even imagine trying to deal with going to work AND taking care of myself during this whole thing.

I would like to point out that not working during chemotherapy is NOT the same thing as being on vacation. Even if I talk about trying to do a bunch of stuff around the house to keep me from going stir crazy.  Half the time I don't even have energy to watch TV! I just end up laying in bed staring at the wall or the ceiling.

My girl K pretty much summed it up to me in an email the other day. I don't even want to paraphrase it because it perfectly expresses what we are going through just the way it was written:

"I would never, ever want this to happen to me or anyone else I know. Even my worst enemy. This is the biggest pool of SUCK. This is no luxury! We've been told we have cancer, which is a huge, horrible blow in and of itself. 
Then we have body parts cut off and foreign objects sewn into us. Now we have to be POISONED on a regular basis and feel like shit and lose our hair and look like shit. And some of us have to get zapped with radiation. And have another surgery. Then have constant checkups. And then worry for the rest of our lives that this shit is going to come back.  But still have somewhat of a normal life while all of this is going on: chores, be a mom, be a wife, keep up the house, etc. etc. You are not on a vacation. Just because you're not working somewhere out of the house doesn't mean that you aren't working at all."

I told you she rocked, didn't I?  Bless you K, and all the other women AND men in the world who have to deal with this big pool of SUCK. I will pray for you all.



  1. I found your blog via David Haas who is writing an article for MY blog. I am a (almost ) 3 yar breast cancer survivor, mastectomy warrior, and am enjoying reading your blog. I just want you to know that you are not alone and I would like to send you a special gift with my compliments from my shop where you can read my bio. I am on facebook - you can message me there with your address if you'd like - I do this for other b.c. patients I come in contact with so I hope you know I am not a stalker or anything - just want to send some HOPE your way! Wishing you blessings and courage on your chemo journey - I was where you are just 2 1/2 years ago - there truly IS another side and you will get there! Hugs!

  2. Love ya, Lori! SO, SO glad to have met you, even if the circumstances are beyond shitty. When "this" is over, we need to make plans to meet up. <3

  3. Kasi- I wish we could have met in person. I really really wanted to.


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