Thursday, July 7, 2011

I'm blue da ba dee da ba die...

It's been two days since my lymph node biopsy and I'm still peeing blue! It looks like Mr. Clean had a fight with the tidy bowl and spilled a bottle of windex in the toilet.

That appears to be the only cool side effect of the radioactive/blue dye they injected into me to find out which lymph nodes they needed to remove.

Yesterday, I dragged myself out of bed around 1pm to make sure I had enough time to get ready and go get my pedi with my mom. A girl's gotta have her priorities. I got OPI's "do you think I'm tex-y" and had Tami do a ribbon on the big toes. I think they turned out nice.

Mom brought me my breast cancer quilt, too...finished in record time I think. It turned out awesome. I had her bring it into the salon so I could show it off to the ladies there. She gave me fabric markers so I can have people sign it if they like.

Today, I had to go get my MRI to check out the girls to see if there is anything else in there that the mammogram missed. Brian drove. On the way I saw a family of Sandhill Cranes out in the corn field just before you get on the freeway. Two adults and a baby. Made me smile.

The MRI was no big deal, I've had THREE in the past, not so much stress about getting another one, except that I am still really sore from the node biopsy and was a bit concerned about how having my girls hanging down into cups on the table was going to big deal, it went fine. I listened to Lady Gaga station during the test and tried not to tap my toes. I'm finding that my yoga practice is standing me in good stead these days. there have been lots of situations where lying still and breathing is coming in handy!

I had to get another IV tho, for contrast. first time I've had to get an IV for an MRI, go figure. I'm glad I didn't know about it ahead of time. This makes SIX IVs in the past 3 weeks. Luckily, it all went ok and I didn't even need a xanax ahead of time.

After MRI, Brian and I ran some errands at the mall, I had to return some stuff I bought that didn't work out. Then over to the plastic surgeon ....Dr. Looby. His office was really busy today, so he was behind. When we got called back we discovered why...he's also a hand surgeon, and ....Monday was the fourth of July. I was happy to show him that I had all 10 fingers intact.

Discussed my options. Despite my thoughts to the contrary, he doesn't believe that I have enough in my stomach OR my butt to do live tissue transplant for the reconstruction. He didn't even look at my 2nd butt to confirm. The back muscle 'comb over' that they can use just gives me the heebie jeebies AND the hillie willies, so I think we decided to do a straight saline implant for the left side. I really don't want to start feeling or looking like frankenstein with my butt as my boob, and my kneecap as my nipple, etc. etc.

All kidding aside, it sounds like the least complicated process and I'm ok with that. Now we just need to work around everyone's vacation schedules!

While we were waiting to get called back, I checked my voicemails. Dr. Beane's nurse left me a message to call her back. I knew instantly she was calling with the lymph nodes update and since she was asking me for a call back I knew it was going to be good news. Still, when she told me they came back negative, I burst into happy tears right in the waiting room of the plastic surgeon!

FINALLY some good news from a test during this whole crazy process. It's amazing the weight that was lifted as soon as I found out those results. In a way, tho, I almost felt let down. I've been living with so much ambiguity, such dire possible outcomes, when I thought about the fact that I was not stage 3 or stage 4, it was like, oh...well, it's JUST stage 2 breast cancer. Interesting the way the brain works in times like these. I guess I AM a drama queen at heart. I will just have to make due with a simple ailment, mastectomy and maybe chemo (maybe! probably, but maybe not!?). I think I can be content with that for now.

I got a call from a total stranger today. Well by 6- degrees- of- Kevin- Bacon standards, she is really not a stranger- she is my girl H's friend , who has lived through the whole breast cancer experience. She is also a minister. My girl H told me I might like to talk to her about it. Since I've decided I'm not turning down any "opptys" that come my way, I told her I was totally open to it. She is on vacation next week so we'll try to meet after she is back. I think the coolest thing about this whole thing is the fact that I've reached out to friends, family and even strangers and have found out how cool people are.

I love you guys!


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