Monday, June 3, 2013

"...long after the thrill of living is gone.."

A friend I met in Orlando
So, I TRY to make my posts inspiring, but cancer is not all sunshine and roses, no matter what someone might tell you!  Every day, I find out about another person diagnosed with, died from, etc. etc.  It's sometimes just downright depressing.  I'm part of a club that is not one I want to be in.

This is especially on my mind these days because I am captain of our Relay for Life Lowell team, benefiting the American Cancer Society this year. I talked Lowell Community Wellness to have a presence there, and I ended up captain!  3rd weekend in June.

Last year Relay's luminaria bags
I'm looking forward to it, it's amazing time, and I know it will be great, but also sad, because there will be people who SHOULD be there who won't, and that is a hard thing to deal with when you have been a continent away from family deaths my whole life.

Life seems to be beating me up a bunch lately.  We had a big flood a month ago, and still waiting for the check to get our drain sewer filled basement- cleaned and decontaminated, so we can get our next heater/hvac unit installed. Yes, in this cold Michigan spring, we have been without heat for a month.  We only had to go a week with no hot water, and never lost our gas or electricity, so we were pretty lucky.  The basement and yard drained on it's own, but it meant no veggies from our sewer drenched garden soil this year, so the Asparagus are rejoicing and we're thinking how to renovate the devastated beds.

Connor has been on and off sick since winter- He currently has asthmatic bronchitis, and is missing yet ANOTHER day of school, during the last week of the year. I have had persistent nausea for about a month now, but tested negative for anything so it's being chalked up to 'a virus'.  Wednesday I get my inaugural colonoscopy!  I can't wait!  Apparently, I have colorectal as well as BC in my genes, so hoping this will be a baseline test, only.

So, feeling like life is beating me down a goes on, but sometimes, the thrill is gone.... the song says...let it rock, let it I'm going to try and let it roll and pick myself up by my platform 5in bootstraps (if I had a pair of 5in platform boots, I'd be rockin')  and get on with my life. now I've got most of the bad stuff off my chest. (I know the good is supposed to go first, but not when you just aren't feeling it)

Good things that are coming up...not one but TWO new babies for friends this year means I need to get out of my rut and get knitting.

My sister got a promotion to Milano, and I get to visit her by way of being a Cat valet. I'm not proud, I'll do whatever to get a trip to Europe in!  Turns out it's cheaper to fly a human with a cat than to ship one without...who woulda thought?

I got accepted into Prairie Yoga Teacher Training starting in September. It's in GR. and it goes Sept-May, 1 weekend a month, vs. the Lansing one I was considering going 3 months every weekend.  So while it will take a little longer to get through it, I don't think it will be as stressful as trying to get it all done in 3 months. and I will only have to drive to GR, not Lansing, on the weekends.  Especially if I'm still doing most of my work in Lansing.

I know I have a lot to be grateful and happy about. I'm here, I have a family who loves me, I have a puppy who loves to clean my eyesockets out, and I have a job.   I just want to point out to anyone going through cancer or after that the journey doesn't end your last day of treatment or after the scars heal.  It goes on, and on and on....

2012 RFL survivor walk

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